There is Nothing Worse Than Sad Music that isn’t at least fun.

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Life is sad. Music is a representation of life. Music is sad.

But just because music is sad doesn’t mean it can’t also be fun. Drake is the walking embodiment of a sad man making fun music so the rest of the world can be happy. One minute he is dancing and singing over steel drums, the next he is pouring his heart out about how he can no longer trust those closest to him.

This bring me to my main beef: artists who make sad and whiny music that also sounds sad and whiny. J. Cole and 21 Pilots do a great job of letting people know exactly what is wrong, but they somehow find a way to leave the listener more depressed than when they started.

With their mix of punk, reggae and hip hop, 21 Pilots have quickly ascended to the pantheon of Top 40 trash. It’s like Blink-182 and Eminem had a baby, gave the baby up for adoption, the baby got adopted and grew up in a great home, and then decided to make some sad music about how no one wanted them when they were younger. Say what you will about reggae-pop band Magic!, but they make sad songs and also find a way to sound like the happiest fucking people in Canada.

J. Cole in particular is the worst offender in the category of sad music. His particular style of “real rap” that people find relatable is an absolute snooze-fest. I understand that life for him was hard when he was growing up, but his music is stale, boring and repetitive. He is the lyrical equivalent of having a tooth filled, it’s fine at first but after awhile you go completely numb to it.

In conclusion, yada yada yada, J.Cole is a potato and I hope that 21 Pilots go away forever.

Keep it wavy boys and girls.

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